Local TOTB

Mother of Divine Providence Parish in King of Prussia will have speakers from the Theology of the Body Institute at 8pm on Wednesday. Although I have heard Christopher West speak, I'm thrilled to see what type of students come out of this Institute. I'm always looking to improve my marriage. Speaking of which, I better go help with the little one.

Passport to Truth

I am always flattered when someone asks for my opinion and I was particularly flattered to receive an autographed copy of Passport by Christopher Blunt at the CCL Convention.

Christopher Blunt has written a novel demonstrating nearly the entirety of the Church's teachings on marriage and sexuality. I am stunned by how well everything hangs together without being forced. The plot involves fornication, abortion, contraception, personalism, NFP, annulments, and marital chastity. The story is gripping and believable with a main character, Stan, who appeals to me, a Simpsons-loving entrepreneur. Stan is also a Catholic like me, who takes the Truth for granted and needs to re-learn the Faith constantly.

As Stan re-learns the Faith, a variety of events occur in his life which succeed in being surprising while not being unexpected. Stan's life is not a common one, yet it appeals to the common man. His is a truly Catholic life, where small things can teach great lessons and where an average man is prepared for great gifts.

How Chaste a Foundation

A book review of Emily's Hope by Ellen Gable
Full Quiver Publishing

by: James F. Volpe


The Couple to Couple League is updating all of its materials, as well as its method, in the first overhaul since inception. The Creighton System's NaPro Technology is having tremendous success and expanding all over the nation. The NFP movement has passed through its infancy and is in the growth spurts of puberty along with the daughters of the current generation of NFP users. All NFP using parents are concerned with how to pass on the beauty of the Church's teaching on sexuality to their daughters. Since many NFP users have discovered this beauty only after hard lessons in life, they wish to spare their daughters from these same growing pains.

In order to impart these lessons in sexuality, Ellen Gable has adopted my favorite pedagogy, teaching through novelization. In Emily's Hope, Mrs. Gable alternated between telling the story of Emily, living in the seventies and Emily's great-grandmother, living at the turn of the twentieth century. This proved to be a brilliant device which allowed for simultaneously explaining the separate time frames where contraception and abortion were legalized. The story of Emily covered many situations which those in the pro-life community experience: bigotry from doctors, confusion from friends, silence from family, witnessing to deaf ears, and sympathy from no one except a spouse. The story of Emily's grandmother covered the militancy and cold-heartedness of the birth control movement as well as the rationalizations often used by pro-abortion advocates. The book teetered on the edge of covering too much with these instructional vignettes, but, thankfully, the scenes did not become overwhelming and the story held together on its own merits.

As I witnessed Emily and her great-grandmother travel through their lives, I was reminded of another gloriously educational novel, How Firm a Foundation, by Marcus Grodi. That novel covered the tale of a Christian pastor as he followed the lonely road of Christ across the Tiber and into Roman Catholicism. Mr. Grodi wrote his novel to explain his journey to his parents, whom he loved very dearly but who could not understand his conversion to Catholicism. Mrs. Gable's novel covers the conversion of a young woman's heart. She wrote her novel to explain the beauty of the sexual powers to her goddaughters in case they could not understand the witness of her life. Both novels are works of love, explaining how deep love can be.

Eden Regained

by: James F. Volpe

A review of The Thrill of the Chaste
by: Dawn Eden


I must admit that I was salivating over the thought of reading this book for months. I am an avid reader of Ms. Eden's blog, The Dawn Patrol, and her writing style impressed me. The book does not slack from her witty, concise, and current prose. She shares many of her experiences with unchastity in a humorous, frank manner. Most amazingly, she shares these intimate moments without being gossipy and gratuitous in detail. It is rare these days to find any popular books which don't contain gratuitous sexual imagery or innuendo, so for a book which is dealing heavily with this subject to handle it tactfully is very impressive.

Throughout the book, Ms. Eden wove in the Christian understanding of marital relations by juxtaposing it with the Sex and the City philosophy as espoused by Carrie Bradshaw from the popular television show. Not surprisingly, her experience taught her that television deluded its viewers. Television, and pop culture in general, had shown strong women as those who used sex to get love. She actively followed this philosophy for years until realizing that it had not led to any serious, loving relationship and, furthermore, it was turning her into someone who was incapable of finding such a relationship. Once she knew this, she began actively loving everyone, instead of just those who took her to bed. She turned herself into a loving person, so that she can hopefully find the man that the Lord has for her. Resigned that the Lord may have other plans for her, she shared how she is far closer to marriage now than she ever was in the past.

The book defied my expectations by being more than the memoir of a past, sinful life but also an insightful look into how the ways of the world had deceived a young girl while the ways of the Lord brought her hope and fulfillment, while keeping her clothes on.

Hardliners

I promised myself that there would be some punishments that I never used on my children. I came very close to crossing that line this weekend when my adorable little one woke me up at 7am on a weekend where my eldest chose to sleep in until 7:30am. I could have really used those 30 minutes so punishment was in order. I subjected my little one to Julia Robert's acting (Mystic Pizza). My eldest awoke and spared my little one further punishment. As a demonstration of contrition, I put in a Dora video and let them be purified of foul influences.

Jen and I finished the movie later and I was surprised that I enjoyed most of the movie. Primarily due to a young Vincent D'Onofrio who delivers the best line in the movie, which is unfortunately soiled by a mild vulgarity. To paraphrase, he tells his fiancee how bad he feels because he wants to marry her and she only wants his body and won't commit. It sums up fornication quite nicely and pleasantly contains the role reversal of the man being more committed to love than the woman.

By the way, a free trial month of Netflix to the first person to get the reference in the title of this post.

In "Local" News

I have been trying to get this blog to relate more to the local Phily beat, so of course I have this great article about Virginia (with a Philly connection). I feel much less animus towards the local news as they strain credulity to find a local connection in a big story. I now do it too.

It seems that a priest who served in Philly during the 80s has now become Bishop of Richmond and he has a committee re-evaluating their marriage prep programs. The article seems a bit inconclusive as to what the final product will be, but the committee is going in all the right directions. I would be ecstatic to see Christopher West's program used throughout the U.S. We have an early edition of his pre-Cana materials from when he spoke at the PNFPN's conference in 2006 and it is great stuff. He understands and presents the Theology of the Body better than anyone I know.

All that being said, I'm still torn over requiring NFP classes. It is hard enough to find volunteers to teach, and to teach classes well to interested and motivated students. I can't imagine the strain on the teachers, trying to handle a room full of dozens of hostile couples. However, requiring the class does let people know that the Church is serious and contraception is wrong so it will be important work for all teachers willing to do it.

The Diocese of Richmond and all teachers of NFP are in my prayers.

An E5 Man

Via Play the Dad, no Be the Dad, comes this post on Ephesians 5. I like how he grapples with the always difficult "Wives submit to your husbands." verse. I have often struggled with this verse since I know it doesn't mean that I can dominate my wife, but I have been so indoctrinated by the media and social pressure that I have difficulty understanding any interpretation. I particularly like the etymology of submission and how that affected his understanding.

I would paraphrase my understanding of this verse as, "A wife should obey her husband as long as he is working on his God-given mission. Otherwise, she should fulfill her God-given mission of working for her husband's salvation by correcting him." Not all of that is in this post, I am just trying to get a handle on my understanding.

A woman who knows men

My wife is a wonderful woman and has a blog which I frequent since she is busy figuring out how to be a woman while I try to figure out manhood. Our blogs complement each other.

Via her blogroll comes this post, an excellent synopsis of much of my thought on manhood. I guess this means I am somewhere on the right track. Women are amazing at revealing the truth about men. Even Adam didn't understand himself, he was alone, until God created Eve.

Yet Another Article

A good friend reminded me of this old EWTN article on fatherhood which happened to be written in Philadelphia so it got bonus points for being local interest.

Fornication is irrational, even to an atheist

Via Curt Jester, comes this post. John C. Wright is a sci-fi author, Christian and former atheist. He recorded many of his atheistic thought processes and repeats them for commentary on his journal, aside from writing new pieces. His most recent piece is the rational, logical, non-theistic argument against fornication. It is great philosophizing, though it includes many literary references which are beyond my experience.

Columbo vs. Lansbury

Alright, there was a truly random conjunction of thoughts in my head. A reference was made to Columbo, in the movie Snake Eyes, this caused me to watch re-runs in my head of the one episode I remembered watching. Detective work spawned another recall loop where I remembered the one episode of Murder She Wrote which I remember watching. All of this then collided with my ever-present questions about manhood.

I don't remember either show that well, but I think its safe to say that Columbo solved his case by badgering the witness and other direct methods. On the other hand, Angela Lansbury (sp?) solved her case by coordinating many tiny pieces of information from various interviews and other, more indirect, methods. I believe this is a distinction between men and women. Men are more direct and aggressive. As a holy example, I think of St. Peter always charging to the front and opening his mouth even if he looks immensely silly. Women are more indirect and receptive. As another holy example, I think of St. Therese of Lisieux always listening and serving even those who she did not love.

NFP Debate

I recently engaged in a debate over this post on a traditionalist group's blog. I was very sure going in that "of course, everyone needs to know NFP". After considering the issue further, I began to wonder if that was indeed the case. So, I hit the books to see if I could find evidence for the widespread teaching of NFP.

First I will try to give the highlights of the debate for those of you who don't wish to slog through it all on your own.

Their side:
1) learning NFP may tempt people to sin, either in the frank discussions involved in learning it or in the possession of knowledge about a woman's fertile times (i.e. a couple may use it without serious reason)

2) in the West, the experience of serious enough reasons for the use of NFP are so rare as to make widespread teaching of the method not just unnecessary and a waste of time, but potentially immoral, as learning it may be a temptation to sin

My basic arguments:
1) most couples will have serious enough reasons to use NFP at some point in their marriage, so it should be offered to couples at the start of their marriage

2) learning NFP in the pre-marriage period is less stressful than trying to learn it once a need arises - it's also easier as the signs confused by breastfeeding infertility, poor sleep due to newborn/infant/child sleep habits, etc.

The first thing that I took the time to read was Casti Connubii, something that's been on my "to be read" list for several years now. I then went through Familiaris Consortio. The contrast between the two is interesting, but I don't see any glaring contradictions. In 1930, when Casti Connubii was written NFP didn't exist as it does today, but still Pope Pius XI mentions and allows recourse to natural infertile periods for spacing births. Pope John Paul II had the benefit of seeing the effects of several decades of use of modern NFP, and makes quite a case for it's widespread dissemination.

I'll try to briefly reflect on what I see as some of the more relevant points in FC. In section 28, he writes, "Thus, the fundamental task of the family is to serve life, to actualize in history the original blessing of the Creator - that of transmitting by procreation the divine image from person to person. Fecundity is the fruit and the sign of conjugal love.... However, the fruitfulness of conjugal love is not restricted to the procreation of children...it is enlarged and enriched by all those fruits of moral spiritual and supernatural life which the father and mother are called to hand on to their children and through the children to the Church and to the world." (para 2-4)

In this section we see, that while procreation is "fundamental" to marriage, the live-giving and life-serving responsibly does not end with procreation. Parents have the task of educating their children, especially in faith and morals, with an eye towards not only their redemption, but also that of the world by way of the example shown by the family. Thus, responsible parenthood should include discernment by the husband and wife of whether or not at any given time the family's life-giving service is best shown by seeking to add a new life or refraining from doing so. Parent's have a right to be able to take into consideration their ability to care for their children in such a way as to give them a solid foundation in the faith, when deciding about family size.

Section 32, para. 5-6: When, instead, by means of recourse to periods of infertility, the couple respect the inseparable connection between the unitive and procreative meanings of human sexuality, they are acting as "ministers" of God's plan and they "benefit from" their sexuality according to the original dynamism of "total" selfgiving, without manipulation or alteration.
...The choice of the natural rhythms involves accepting the cycle of the person, that is the woman, and thereby accepting dialogue, reciprocal respect, shared responsibility and self- control. To accept the cycle and to enter into dialogue means to recognize both the spiritual and corporal character of conjugal communion and to live personal love with its requirement of fidelity. In this context the couple comes to experience how conjugal communion is enriched with those values of tenderness and affection which constitute the inner soul of human sexuality, in its physical dimension also. In this way sexuality is respected and promoted in its truly and fully human dimension, and is never "used" as an "object" that, by breaking the personal unity of soul and body, strikes at God's creation itself at the level of the deepest interaction of nature and person."

Here JPII, talks about how couple's benefit from the practice of NFP, in communication, responsibility and self-control. He talks about how NFP involves an acceptance of the truth about sexuality, and respect for the wife, as her fertility is not rejected as it is with contraception.

Section 33:
(para. 3) As Mother, the Church is close to the many married couples who find themselves in difficulty over this important point of the moral life: she knows well their situation, which is often very arduous and at times truly tormented by difficulties of every kind, not only individual difficulties but social ones as well; she knows that many couples encounter difficulties not only in the concrete fulfillment of the moral norm but even in understanding its inherent values. But it is one and the same Church that is both Teacher and Mother. And so the Church never ceases to exhort and encourage all to resolve whatever conjugal difficulties may arise without ever falsifying or compromising the truth: she is convinced that there can be no true contradiction between the divine law on transmitting life and that on fostering authentic married love.
(para. 5) On the other hand, authentic ecclesial pedagogy displays its realism and wisdom only by making a tenacious and courageous effort to create and uphold all the human conditions-psychological, moral and spiritual-indispensable for understanding and living the moral value and norm.
(para 6) There is no doubt that these conditions must include persistence and patience, humility and strength of mind, filial trust in God and in His grace, and frequent recourse to prayer and to the sacraments of the Eucharist and of Reconciliation.
(para 7) But the necessary conditions also include the knowledge of the bodily aspect and the body's rhythms of fertility. Accordingly, every effort must be made to render such knowledge accessible to all married people and also to young adults before marriage, through clear, timely and serious instruction and education given by married couples, doctors and experts. Knowledge must then lead to education in selfcontrol...(emphasis mine)

Here, we read that the Church knows that virtuously living out the marriage vows is difficult. Then JPII goes on to list some of the areas in which instruction and formation are necessary to enable couples to fully live out their marriage vows responsibly and without contradiction to moral norms. Psychological, moral and physical health are to be looked after, as teaching in and the practice of virtues. Seeing that these conditions are meet will help couples to have healthy marriages. JPII then goes on to say that knowledge of the fertility cycle should be made "accessible to all married people," and "to young adults before marriage." This sounds like a call for the widespread teaching of NFP to me. If JPII saw any threat of harm in teaching about fertility, he would not have called to it to be taught before marriage. Later, in section 35, he goes on to call for a "broader, more decisive and more systematic effort to make natural methods of regulating fertility known, respected and applied." (emphasis mine) Again we see the Pope calling for knowledge of NFP to be made more widespread, and put into use! If he was concerned about mis-use, then he would have been less forceful in his call for dissemination of the knowledge of NFP. And clearly, he believed that there are many couples for whom the use of NFP would be licit.

There are sections of FC that do remind couple's to use discernment in regard to family size. Specifically, section 34, calls couples to look to the teaching of Humanae Vitae as "the norm for the exercise of their sexuality." And later in the same section, "...the function of transmitting life must be integrated into the overall mission of Christian life as a whole, which without the Cross cannot reach the Resurrection. In such a context it is understandable that sacrifice cannot be removed from family life, but must in fact be wholeheartedly accepted if the love between husband and wife is to be deepened and become a source of intimate joy." (para 6). So he doesn't do away with or forget about what was taught in HV. The conditions for use of NFP...just, serious or grave still apply. So we see that JPII's call for widespread teaching of NFP came even after consideration of the guidelines put forth in HV.

A summation:
There are many factors that come into play in a decision about whether or not to have another child. People must be adequately taught in order to live out their marriage vows and make responsible choices about parenthood. Part of that teaching should include knowledge of the woman's fertility. Having knowledge about a woman's fertility, and respecting her natural rythyms leads to the growth of virtue. The sense of responsibility fostered by knowledge of fertility, and the discernment called for in HV are integral to using NFP in a virtuous way. Knowledge of the Church's teachings on sexuality and responsible parenthood should be taught, including knowledge about NFP so that couple can make good decisions regarding family size and continue to live in service to life.

So, in the end, I am more convinced than ever that NFP is good, and that it should be widely promoted and taught, but only within the context of Church teaching on the family.

Koontz is Catholic

So I have just finished reading Whispers a Dean Koontz book which is nearly as old as I am. It was somewhat of a study in history since I had to keep reminding myself that detectives in the 70s didn't have the benefit of cell phones and DNA testing. However, the story was interesting and the writing style was up to par for Koontz. The characters were all well written and complete in their development.

The book had particular relevance to my current interest in the Theology of the Body. Unfortunately, the book contained the two most explicit sexual encounters which I have ever read in a popular novel but Koontz went to great lengths to mention the spiritual bonding which occurred during these encounters. The spiritual bonding or unitive aspect of marital relations had been sorely neglected in Catholic teaching at that point in time. In particular, during the turbulent 70s, many felt that the Church thought that sex was dirty and wrong. Even as Koontz typed this novel, a great Pope was writing an exegesis to enlighten us and deepen our understanding of sexual relations. He reclaimed the passion of the Song of Songs without weakening the wise laws which protect marital intercourse from being non-unitive. In a backwards way, the book reinforced the fact that contraception can destroy the spiritual union since contraception was completely neglected. No mention of putting on a condom at the critical moment, no mention of a daily pill, for there would have been nothing romantic about the gesture of cutting off part of their bodies from each other.